I’ll admit, negotiating makes me uncomfortable.

I love discounts, but for some reason, I have a hard time asking someone: Can I give you less money?

Of course, that’s probably a really terrible way to ask for a cheaper price. I never really learned how to negotiate or price-haggle. Lately, I’ve been trying to hone my skills. Here are a few tips I’ve come across for negotiating a discount.

Know what you’re talking about

Go figure, it helps to know your sh!t. Do your research and find numbers and information to back up your offer. For example, I occasionally have to call my Internet provider and negotiate a cheaper price when my “promotional” offer ends. My bill goes up, and I have to haggle it back down. Yes, this is a huge pain in the butt. But doing research makes the process quicker. I let them know what other providers in my area charge; I tell them about the reviews I’ve read from customers who pay less.

For whatever you’re negotiating, you might do well to research:

• The cost to the seller
• The seller’s quota/deadline
• How much competitors charge

Watch your language

In learning how to negotiate, language is important.

In Smart Skills: Negotiation, author Anthony Jacks says you should “be careful and precise in your use of language.”

“Speak a little slower than normal: though not so slowly as to sound patronizing….ensure accurate meaning is transferred, consider restricting vocabulary a little.”

Be nice

This is self-explanatory, but I guess it bears repeating. When asking someone for something, you usually get better results when you’re not an ass.

Be polite and positive–it goes a long way.

Don’t fear silence

“Saying nothing can often be as powerful as speaking, providing silence is used at the right time and in the right way,” Jacks writes.

So how do you use silence in the right time?

• After you make a clear suggestion. Silence can “imply certainty” in this situation, and if you say something too soon, you might come across as uncertain.
• When you’re considering an offer. “Silence can imply that you are non-committal,” Jacks says.

Reconsider direct eye contact

Contrary to popular belief, a recent Harvard study found that direct eye contact actually makes people “less receptive” and “less inclined to interact.” According to Forbes:

“Few popular beliefs are as unshakable as, ‘If you want to influence someone, always make direct eye contact.’ But new research suggests that this bit of sturdy pop lore is hardly gospel – in fact, in many circumstances a direct gaze may result in the exact opposite effect.”

Some people stick to the old notion, and if it works, go for it. But it might help to consider whether your eye contact is coming across as confident or just creepy.

Pay with cash

If you’re negotiating the price of something for which it’s possible to pay cash, bring cash. This will save the business on credit card transaction fees, giving you a little bargaining chip.

Ask three times

Money Talks News founder Stacy Johnson suggests using the rule of threes when asking for a cheaper price:

“When I go into a hotel, I ask for a discount. If they say no, I say, ‘Are you sure there’s not some special rate you can give me?’ If they still say no, then I use my fallback. I smile big and say, ‘Well, you can at least give me the Elvis suite for the same price, right?'”

Learning how to negotiate takes skill and practice. What about you–are you afraid to negotiate, or have you mastered this art? What tactics work for you?

Photo: Peretz Partensky