Last month, I challenged my readers and myself to cut restaurant spending to zero as part of the Lifehacker Ultimate Money Challenge. At the end of the month, I asked readers how much they saved. The typical reply? About a few hundred bucks. Not too shabby! I loved this particular thread:
I did the math. In 10 years, that adds up to $86,542.00. Compound interest is a beautiful thing, at least when it comes to saving. Debt is a different story.
I saved about $300 myself, and that even includes a few of slip ups: a drink at a friend’s going away party; another friend’s birthday weekend.
A big part of this challenge is practical. Some of us have a hard time saving money, so a challenge can be a helpful kick in the butt. More importantly, you learn a lot about your spending habits, and that intel is helpful for lasting change. Here are a few things I learned from saving money on restaurants this month, followed by February’s challenge.
Getting Off the Hedonic Treadmill
When I was seven or eight, every Saturday, my mom would take me to McDonald’s, then we’d go grocery shopping and say hello to my dad, who worked in the produce department. It was my favorite tradition as a kid, because eating outside of the house was rare for us. But it wasn’t just about the food; spending time with my mom and visiting my dad at work meant something to me.
Years later, one of my favorite traditions is going out to dinner with my fiance on Friday nights. When we were broke, we’d go to Carl’s Jr. and sit in the park. Now that our finances have grown, we go to a delicious Indian restaurant down the street.
It sounds harmless enough, but the thing is, we don’t ONLY go out to eat on Friday nights. We also do lunch on Saturday, order takeout on Sunday, then usually grab dinner during the week, too. As a result, I’ve noticed those Friday night dinners aren’t as special. Dining out isn’t the rare treat it once was, and splurging on restaurants has become my new normal. (And Carl’s Jr. doesn’t cut it.)
This is sort of the concept of hedonic adaptation, or the hedonic treadmill. I like the way Mr. Money Mustache puts it:
“Well, it turns out that when a person jumps to a new level of material convenience, he loses the ability to enjoy the things he previously thought were pretty neat. A cold Bud Light was once a true delight after a work day for the lottery winner, but after the win he quits the job and takes up high-end scotch, poured by a personal butler. Both serve the same purpose, and the pleasure is about the same. Similarly, when moving down the hedonic scale, either voluntarily or involuntarily, we can learn to appreciate simpler things with just as much gusto as we would have appreciated more expensive things.“
In other words, lifestyle inflation doesn’t really make you happier. I’m just as happy overspending on restaurants every month as I was going to McDonald’s as a kid or eating shitty hamburgers in the park in my 20s. The only difference? It costs more to make me happy now.
Here’s the good news: cutting back on my spending did not affect my happiness one bit. I didn’t feel like I missed out or deprived myself of anything. I’m not saying I’m going to stop going to nice places, and shitty fast food is a bad example of eating cheap. But here’s my point: I like to spend money on restaurants for the experience. If the experience is diminished, what’s the point of spending so much on restaurants? Going forward, I’d like to get that experience back, and that means not eating out so much.
Beating Mindless Consumption
Interestingly, I didn’t just spend less on restaurants in January. I spent less on clothes, Amazon goodies, and almost every other discretionary spense. And I felt less like a consumer.
I think it’s due to the simple act of thinking twice about how I spend. For example, when friends wanted to hang out, I had to think about what we could do aside from eat food, which is always the easy, go-to answer. Instead, I took a walk with my neighbor. I had tea at home with another friend.
Cutting back forced me to think outside the box of consumption. And that went beyond restaurant spending.
Granted, there’s a case to be made for just spending the money. I’m not saying I’ll never meet a friend at a restaurant. I quite enjoy that experience. However, I want to get back in the habit of considering my spending instead of just mindlessly forking over the cash. I want to be more deliberate with my money, and this challenge helped with that. [Tweet “Mindful spending isn’t about depriving yourself. It’s about being deliberate with your money.”]
Recognizing the Stress Spending Cycle
When I’m stressed, I’m very careless about my money. I call it stress spending. My mind is full of work, things I need to do, people I need to call, so my spending gets put on the backburner. I don’t think about it; I just do it.
For example, if I’ve had a particularly busy day at work, I’ll order takeout and tell myself it’s worth not having to think about dinner. Plus, it’s really not that much, right? But at a couple of times a week, I’m spending $200-$300 a month on stress-fueled dinners I don’t even enjoy. Even worse, I get stuck in a stress spending cycle. I’m stressed, so I spend mindlessly, I regret it, then I get stressed again.
As far as food spending goes, meal planning is an easy fix. Even buying a pre-made frozen dinner at the grocery store is a better solution than ordering takeout. Those are fine solutions, but for me, the best solution is just cooking my damn dinner. Why? Because it breaks the stress cycle. It forces me to slow down. If I’m stressed, that likely means I’m not managing my time well. I’m saying yes to too many things. I’m thinking too hard about a problem that should be simple. When I stop and take a step back, I return to work with a fresh perspective, or I realize I’m making things more difficult than they need to be.
For me, ordering takeout was like giving myself permission to stay stressed. Instead of stopping to cook or come up with a better plan, I went for the quick, easy fix, and that only fueled my stress.
Plus, it was a waste of money! There’s a difference between just spending the money on something you’re overthinking and wasting money on something without giving it much thought at all.
Join Us for the February Challenge
We made it through January with some extra cash in our pockets; now it’s time to take on February. February’s money challenge: haggle your bills. Round up all of your ongoing monthly expenses: internet, phone, car insurance, gym membership and so on, then give your providers a call and see if you can negotiate a better rate. A few people have already taken the challenge and reported their savings!
If you don’t know where to start, here are a few tips for effective bill haggling:
• Be nice. No one wants to give a jerk a good deal.
• Shop the competition. Know the rates of other companies. Ask for those.
• Shop their site. See if they have “online only” rates or new customer rates. Ask for those.
• Threaten to cancel. Hard to do in combo with #1, but it works. Be polite but persistent.
If you’re in, sound off in the comments. And if you joined us for January’s challenge, tell me how much you saved.
Managing your money is like going to the dentist or standing in line at the DMV. Nobody wants to do it, but at some point, it’s inevitable: you need to clean your teeth, renew your license, and manage your money like a grown-up.
The whole “hedonic adaptation” thing is spot-on. I don’t eat out much so when I do, I enjoy the hell out of it. Then I think, “I should do this more often!” So I do, and I enjoy it less. Same goes with travel, one of my favorite things. I get a little too excited during the planning stages and suddenly I have back-to-back flights in the same month and spend my time away wishing I was home. Talk about a waste of time and money!
Haha back-to-back traveling sounds so awesome, but I know what you mean. I read about a study a while back that found people enjoy planning and waiting for a vacation more than they do actually taking it. Sounds crazy, but I can see that. I love that anticipation of knowing I’m going to be doing something exciting soon. I try to book trips as far in advance as possible so I have time to savor it 🙂
Love these two quotes: “lifestyle inflation doesn’t really make you happier” & “Here’s the good news: cutting back on my spending did not affect my happiness one bit”.
It’s often hard to imagine that cutting back or spending less will have no impact on our happiness, but in the end if we are mindfully cutting true waste it’s 100% true. Saving money isn’t about sacrifice it’s about choice!
Amazing post Kristin! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, Mike! And I love your quote: “Saving money isn’t about sacrifice it’s about choice!” It’s even true when it comes to paying off your debt, I think. You’re making the choice to take ownership and control of your situation. Which is prettaaaay awesome.
The whole stress spending thing is known as decision fatigue. As you get more stressed, usually as a result of more decisions, you’re less able to make good decisions. Everyone deals with it. 🙂
I think the pragmatism you show in your January challenge (no restaurants but you were able to put that aside in a few instances to be a good friend, like the going away part and birthday) is healthy. Sure you want to save money but not at all costs.
Right on, it definitely has to do with decision fatigue. Not only do I not feel like cooking, but I also don’t feel like making any decisions about WHAT to cook. A little meal planning will probably help with that. Also, well put: “Sure you want to save money but not at all costs.”
We’ve really cut back on eating out at restaurants. But sometimes stress or just being unprepared causes us to give in. Most of the time we end up disappointed because, with the exception of Indian food, we can make better food ourselves. Gonna have to give the challenge a try!
Ha! I’ve tried cooking Indian so many times and it never comes out right. I’ll have to keep trying 🙂
“The thing is, we don’t ONLY go out to eat on Friday nights. We also do lunch on Saturday, order takeout on Sunday….”
This is my life. Every time I justify with, “it’s a treat”, I’m a totally kidding myself. That said, I’m starting to think I might be coming to terms with my food overspending. I can afford it and I value it. I just have to make sure it stays intentional.
I hear ya. There’s a big push for conscious spending, which is great and I agree with, but I think there’s something to be said for overthinking spending, too. You have to consider your time when you’re being frugal. Something I’ve been learning a lot lately 🙂
Well, over the last month I only spent money on eating out while I was out of town on business. During that very same month I was preparing taxes. I looked at all the credit card statements and was ashamed at how much was for dining out. Now I am a foodie and love going to nicer places but what the statement revealed was that it was mostly fast food….something to shove down my (our) throat when something unexpected turned up or I had failed to plan properly. I am not a fan of fast food but you would never know that based on where we spent. So I fixed the problem….granola bars in the glove box. It worked. If I got caught in an unanticipated situation, I could have the bar and not starve myself. If I failed to plan, again, there was the bar. I think this one little thing could save us about $1800/year!
The February challenge is a done deal…hubby takes care of this on a yearly basis. He negotiated the XM radio to $4/month . The rest didn’t budge so much this year.
I like that solution. We do the same thing, so I’ll have to give it a try!
I just found you and your site so I could not do your January challenge. I am so in the stress eating out cycle, it’s pitiful! Money is very tight for us right now as my husband is now disabled and yet, the more stressed I am with working, caring for the house and of course, bills, the more I spend eating out. I kid myself into thinking that it will be a stress reliever because it is one less thing I have to worry about . When I then look at what I’ve spent over the past week or month eating out, I only get more stressed out. I’m going to try and think of this every time I decide to get something to eat out rather then just make something. I’m going to try and do your February Haggle challenge too. I’ll let you know how I do! Thank you
I’m so glad to have you on board! And best of luck with the stress spending–it’s not easy, especially when you have so much going on, as it sounds like you do. Even just recognizing the cycle went a long way in helping me break out of it–that, and coming up with a few systems to prevent it from happening. Meal planning goes a long way!
So many important behavioral concepts in this piece. Hedonic adaptation, mindless consumption, stress spending (or any emotional spending)…there’s a lot that plays into our consumption of food.
We didn’t take part in this challenge in January but maybe we’ll give it a go in March as, like so many other Americans, we eat out enough that none of it is really all that special. Except the Olive Garden, which is lovely.
Yep, spending behavior is pretty fascinating when you dissect it. Yeah, I’d definitely recommend giving it a try! It was an enlightening experience.
The drink at the going-away party and the birthday weekend weren’t slip ups! Those were decisions that represent a wise and worthwhile bending of the rules.
I’m down with the concepts of hedonic adaptation and frugality, but I don’t think anyone should sacrifice a genuinely happy experience to save twelve bucks or fully comply with a challenge.
Haggle the bills is a great challenge. For those who haven’t cut the cord, I know the big companies will give you substantial discounts if you threaten to stop watching their crappy programming entirely. Unfortunately, they’ve still got the market cornered when it comes to live sporting events. Insurance is another piece of low hanging fruit, particularly if you have multiple policies with the same company.
I like the way you think. I am glad I “sacrificed” spending for the most part, though, because I learned some pretty fascinating things about the way I use money. More than the challenge or the money saved, that’s the most important takeaway to me. And in the end, I didn’t feel like I gave anything up at all. I felt exactly the same, just slightly less like a consumer.
Good tips on haggling! Even if you don’t have cable, and you still have Internet, you can pretty easily negotiate a better rate if you suggest that you might go with another provider. Of course, this probably works better if they know you have other options in your area.
That’s super awesome that you were able to do that Kristin! Not sure if I’d have the willpower.
My wife and I are pretty similar to you guys when it comes to eating. In college we were happy getting In N Out every now and then but have since graduated to eating sushi. While the food is better, it doesn’t really make the experience that much greater. Recently we’ve done a better job of making sure when we go out, it’s something that we’re going to enjoy.
I think all my bills are pretty low already! We got ultra low cell phone plans with T-Mobile/Cricket, no cable, and don’t have many other bills that can be cut! I’ll have to look at our insurance to see if I can knock a few bucks there. 🙂
Same here! This challenge will indeed be challenging because I haggle my bills pretty regularly. Still, I have a website renewal coming up so I’ll see if there’s some room to budge there. Good luck, my friend!
Hey Kristin, You thought me a lesson today. Really amazing post.
This month I’ve been saving on food bills by eating what I’ve already got at home and making quick eats at home for a quarter of the price! e.g. I wanted a healthy salad so I had a choice (1) go to restaurant – have to give tips (2) buy at fast food place – still costs close to $10 and not filling and (3) improvise. So I grabbed a bag of radishes and salad mix from the supermarket, grillled up a chunk of chicken breast I had in the freezer and this turned out into 4 filling meals for me! Next week I plan to get some alfalfa and add a few nuts to the smoked salmon and brie I have in my fridge and this will keep me healthy again without going out.